Alles geht vorbei / This will be all over soon
Meine Gedanken versuchen eine Vollbremsung zu machen, aber das Gedankenrad dreht sich einfach weiter und weiter. Anfang des Jahres nachdem meine Schwester und ein lieber Kollege gestorben waren bekam ich Angst vor diesem Jahr. Ein leises Grausen hat mich erfasst, das Jahr war so jung, was kann da noch alles kommen. Es kam viel Gutes und noch mehr Schlechtes an dem ich bis jetzt noch rumkaue. Ich bin immer nur am Versuch aufzuholen, ohne einen Schritt näher zu kommen. Ich merke ich stecke einfach mittendrin in diesem Grausen und es hört nicht auf. Jetzt suche ich ein neues zu Hause für meine Ponys.
My thoughts try to make a emergency stop, but it is not working. At the begin of this year, after my sister and a dear colleague died I was getting scared what this year will do to me. It did a lot, some very good and even more bad stuff, on which I'm still chewing. I have the feeling that I'm always in the try to catch up, but do not get even a step closer. I have to accept that I'm just in the middle of these horror and there seems to be no end. The last thing: I'm looking for a new home for my Ponys.
Wenn das meine einzigste Sorge wäre ... Aber es sind seit einiger Zeit doch schon einige grundlegende Fragen, auf die es keine Antwort gibt. Vielleicht ist es eine Sache des Alters?
If this would be my only problem ... But I have the feeling I opened a box with a lot of fundamental questions, which I can not answer. And may it's not me, there is just no answer. May be it is a issue of age?
Wie das so ist in solchen Zeiten: Musik hilft: Ane Brun: Gillian. Da gibt es eine Zeile: "... you think you'll fall apart but it's just that new start ..."
Music helps and give me words for my feelings. In this case Ane Brun with Gillian. There is one row "... you think you'll fall apart but it's just that new start ..."
My thoughts try to make a emergency stop, but it is not working. At the begin of this year, after my sister and a dear colleague died I was getting scared what this year will do to me. It did a lot, some very good and even more bad stuff, on which I'm still chewing. I have the feeling that I'm always in the try to catch up, but do not get even a step closer. I have to accept that I'm just in the middle of these horror and there seems to be no end. The last thing: I'm looking for a new home for my Ponys.
 |
| Wir suchen ein neues zu Hause. We are looking for a new home. |
If this would be my only problem ... But I have the feeling I opened a box with a lot of fundamental questions, which I can not answer. And may it's not me, there is just no answer. May be it is a issue of age?
Wie das so ist in solchen Zeiten: Musik hilft: Ane Brun: Gillian. Da gibt es eine Zeile: "... you think you'll fall apart but it's just that new start ..."
Music helps and give me words for my feelings. In this case Ane Brun with Gillian. There is one row "... you think you'll fall apart but it's just that new start ..."
Oh no, I'm sorry. Life takes unexpected turns. You seem so very connected with your horses. I hope it works out the way you need it to.
ReplyDeleteSabine, when you say a new home for the ponies, do you mean a new boarding spot, or something else?
ReplyDeleteI'm so sad for your struggle, especially at this time of year Sabine. Sending <3
I figured out that I was not clear in my writing. I don't no the word boarding spot, but think it is what I'm looking for. A place were my Ponys stay. I like to be independent, in Germany we call this self-supporter. With Pepe as a Minishetty stallion it is very difficult to find a horse pension. In Berlin I'm at a horse pension which is run by an old friend of mine. It's difficult for me, I'm not used to so much talk. People there care more for their horses in the meaning of brushing and braiding. They just ride in circles ... When I'm not back after an hour, they think I'm lost ...
DeleteYes you are right connected until we fall apart! No, I don't have to sell them, I have to find very realistic a new home for them, means my landlord quit the contract. It was Pony Paradies on one hand for a high price (not money).
ReplyDeleteI was thinking a lot about 'your hiding' and felt likewise! Hope you are well!
Beautiful Sabine, Oh I am so glad you are just looking for a new barn at which to board the ponies!! They have been such a constant joy for you these many years; I cannot imagine you without them.
ReplyDeleteAs for the rest, soon 2016 is over & I see that in 2017 you will be overwhelmed with riches of the soul.
<3 *hugs* <3
No, I also can not imagine myself without them. We kind of melted :-)
ReplyDelete