The preciousness of life
The morning seemed so ordinary. Cycling uphill; being early; bringing the ponies to the meadow; cleaning the paddock; picking the ponies from the meadow; walking to the forest and than change arrived slowly and unwelcome.
Point started to stop and kicking his belly. We got on and I looked at him to check weather it is a fly or the belly. He continued stopping and kicking and I started to suspect that there may be is more ... I decided to walk on and shorten the circuit but not turn around. It was getting worst, he tried to stop, but was pushed by Moritz so he started again walking. When he stopped he scraped with one hoof. So an attack of colic, just out of the blue. I was wondering and thinking about colic or a poor circulation of blood. In the last days the temperature was modest and the sky was cloudy, but now you could feel the temperature rising and also it started to get sticky. He stopped again and than lay down. But not just lay down, he sits in the middle of the forest, in the middle of the way and he looked exhausted. He didn't move a hair and sighed. At this moment I thought if it is possible that he decided to leave me in just this moment. I was very calm, looked at him for signs and thought about non-verbal communication skills. He lay completely down and that was the point where I decided to ask him to go on. I sat down beside him, kind of hugged him and told him that this is not the right place. He needed some persuasion to stand up again, and we walked home.
Home in the paddock I put him in the shelter and began to separate a part of it for him, and removed the hay. He stood very still and scraped from time to time. I measured his temperature, but all fine. Listening to his stomach - all silent. I checked with the other guys and heard the silent and soft noises, so nice and healthy. Than I stood beside him and locked at my mobile phone, I picked out the number from the vet, looked again at him and decided to wait some minutes more. Honestly I didn't know what I was waiting for. I brushed all shortly and walked up and down doing things and than I heard him fart. Big smile on my face and saying loud: That's the right direction. All of a sudden he began to move and stood himself at the place where breakfast is normally served. I blinked with my eyes several times and waited some minutes more.
I served breakfast and walked again the loop. Pepe was showing how idiotic and boring he thinks I am by turning on a corner where we never go and ignoring me at all. I felt bad because I know I should spent some extra time with him and don't know how and when. We go on holiday on Saturday for one week, I have to work until Friday and my mother arrives tomorrow to take care for the ponies when I'm away. I have to teach her 'How to take care', and to pack and Arghhh, there is no special time for Pepe ...
One big fart from Point again, but no droppings which I hoped for. He was tired but the old one, starting to bug me because he wanted to eat and I just wanted to make a pause with eating while walking.
When I left them every one of them stood in front of an own hay net and all looked calm. It was still very early and I felt suddenly exhausted.
Back home Alexander sat in the garden under the apple tree (yes it looks as romantic as it sounds) and was very astonished about my early morning adventure. I told him my thoughts that life suddenly can get so precious and that in a blink of an eye all changes without reason. He asked how or why, and I'm sure it just happens sometimes like we know from ourselves and all in all Point is 21 and kind of an old man. He asked if I would prefer to be with him, if life's ends for him like a sigh in the woods, and I said very spontaneous yes. And even now several hours later, I stay with the yes. But it's not my decision, and hopefully it was just a attack of colic out of the blue.
Several hours later I'm kind of horrified to my bones and feel wrung out. Life is so precious, sometimes it seems unbearable.