I'm calm and confused ...

... is this possible?
And it's a new situation, because what I knew pretty much is being confused and troubled.
Lately we started to clean the house, and in this period I was willingly to sell some horse stuff. On sale is/was two horse carriages, one from Pepe and one from Moritz, and the suitable carriage harness. Also a saddle in western style. The first thing which was sold was the carriage from Pepe, than the harness from Moritz. And here I was one carriage without fitting horse and one harness without fitting carriage.
At the beginning of this week someone showed interest in the remaining carriage. Honestly until yesterday when I delivered the carriage I didn't get it that I was selling it. Too calm, too confused?

They asked me to deliver, because the buyer had a broken leg and in a corner of my awareness I knew 'Do it' than you are ready with this. So I arranged all in a hurry, I had to lend me a trailer to put the carriage on. I decided to drive on Saturday, so I have the whole Sunday and Monday because it's a feast day, for my own. I wrote down the address and so on.
When we uploaded the carriage I saw again how pretty it was, but I also know the reasons why I wanted to sell the carriages. Because it is so hilly here in my area it's not really fun. Uphill is one thing, but downhill is even worse because the whole weight is on the horse, and at least I can't support effciently with the brake.
Yesterday evening while we were sitting on the porch with a very fine class Rosé Alexander asked: 'How does it feel?' I'm sure he saw a kind of lostness in my eyes. I tried to focus and said: 'It's good, but now there should be some rewarding. Like planning the trip to walk to Berlin ...'
A few minutes ago, Alexander and I had a deep talk. Since over a year I have this feeling that something will happen. That some decision will be made. Big one! Sometimes it was nearer and then again forgotten in the all-day business. Since we started the house cleaning this feeling of getting prepared for something, came closer again. And here I'm waiting ... being calm and confused.
One morning during the week I was cycling uphill to the horses. Around 6 o'clock in the morning and caught in deep thoughts. When I finally looked up someone was watching me closely ...

I have guards; you can see two in this picture :-)


  1. I have an idea what the waiting could be for, the big change in your lives that might be. But I won't say anything, I will just wait until the news.


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