My beautiful beautiful patient

Moritz with its first identifiable hit of laminitis 2015

Yesterday morning at the start of our jogging routine I looked back as always to check Moritz movements. He was more limping than usual. But from my point of view it looked really like limping not like being sensitive on his hooves. I let him run loose and jogged very slowly, always checking that we are in his sight.
When I put them at the paddock I was thinking that I'm really relaxed about the laminitis problem. That I feel safe! That I was so wrong confuses me still.
When I came in the evening to bring them to the meadow Moritz was very sensitive walking and it was clear this is no limping that's a new round of laminitis. At first I felt headless. Fast breathing and running around like a chicken, not knowing what to do. I came to work with the string trimmer on the meadow - so just do it! Sending a message to Alexander about being headless and laminitis, and got a call back, he tried to calm me down. I already decided myself to work on the meadow and took Pepe with me for grazing.
Last year when I recognized that Moritz had laminitis I did almost nothing with Pepe and I want to be better this year. Point has to stay with Moritz, because Moritz gets totally upset when Point is out of his sight. But with Pepe it's easy. After an hour or so I came back from trimming and had the impression that he walked even more sensitive.
So at this point I didn't know when the peak will be. I was sure I don't need the vet, or right now he needs no medicine. Let's see what tomorrow morning will bring.
A not to good night sleep. I was awake around 4.30 and felt a little wrung out. So what will I see when I come to the paddock. But what I saw, was a Moritz who moves slow and sensitive, but didn't make the impression to be very much in pain. I brought Point an Pepe in front of the paddock for grazing and Moritz started being upset. He moved careful, but fast. I brought him hay, so that they can eat together.
This story is so confused, but I'm not able to fix it. That's my inner condition right now.
So to summarize: I think he is over the peak, maybe we can walk a small round in the evening to work against the boredom. And when he again walks normally we start with short grazing times and him only with the green guard.
My inner conflict is, that the two others hang in this. And it's mostly about the strolling over the big wild meadow, than the grazing. The paddock is really not small in comparison to other horses around, or what they were used to back in Berlin. But you know the expectations grow and grow. And today normal is strolling over a 1 ha big wild meadow. My questions to myself are: Can I accept to let him on the meadow during the night with a green guard? He is already the thinnest (I don't know why), how to keep the weight without separating him from the others? What is better hourly grazing for all and than paddock or during the night on the meadow with green guard (if possible)? Question questions questions wandering through my brain again and again and again.
What I did good. After cleaning the paddock this morning I grabbed Pepe and we did the jogging round, playing normal ...
Lessons learned: Moritz is not able to graze like a normal horse anymore. I have to stop this latest at the beginning of May. Ending September or October? So now decide hourly grazing time or green guard?
And another thing: I'm not allowed to show my confuses, it irritates him a lot I can see this. Horses are living in the here and now. Right now Moritz has minor pain and lots of boredom ... Bad mixture for a Haflinger who will start doing stupid things if not held busy. So may be I should start thinking how I keep him busy instead of how to graze or not or or or ...